A crazy little thing called LDR

When I entered college, I have to live away from my family,friends,and my boy friend because I had choose to study in Jakarta. At first, my parents prohibited my decision. Because they thought that if  I had to study in Jakarta and should be far away from them, that is dangerous thing for me.  However,  after I tried to explain and convience them,  finally they allowed me to continue my study in Jakarta.  As a consequence, I have to start learning to keep my self and live independently. And finally that day just came, the day where I had to left my hometown and went to Jakarta to study and reach my dream.  It was hard to leave my hometown, the place where I always feel safe being surrounded by people who always take care of me. This is my choice, I must be responsible with that.

Day after day I spend my time without them, I have to meet strangers and live with them for several years.  At first it felt strange and awkward, but overtime I began to get used to this life. My friends in here is very kind. They always take care of me even I should to broken up.  In here, I feel happy because there are those who always make me laugh and help me when having difficulty. But, sometimes I feel jealous when all of my friend could go their house every weekend while I have to stay in this dormitory and could not meet with my parents and my boyfriend.  But, I’m not to sad because even though we can’t meet everyday, they always try to take care of me by phone or text me every day.  But, to be honest I will admit that long distance relationship is vey difficult and in desperate need of patience.

In my opinion, long distance relationship is there are peopke who love ecah other but actually they must be seperated by the distance for a while. Actually long ditance relationship is one way to find out how strong our love to someone dan how far we can fight our own ego. Communication and trust are the most important thing to keep long distance relationship.  So far, I’ve had a long distance relationship for about six months.  During the six months that I’ve had a big problem and almost lost the people I love, but finally we can make it better and we stayed together until now.  I think a long distance relationship is not a big probelm when someone is truly loving each other.

In this paper, I want to share the way how to keep long distance relationship that based on my personal experience.  Because honestly this is my second experience in running a long distance relationship. Here some ways to keep a long distance relationship. Check this out!

1.       Ask important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and missunderstanding down the line. Example : “Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?’ or “What are you looking to get out of the relationship?’ Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to mantain what they need.

2.       Considering using Skype video chat calls every day, text messaging, phone calls and email every day. It is important to mantain contact and to be in each other’s daily lives as much as possible.

3.       Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers. More time with friends or family, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email she or he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, not being dragged into a bunch of chick flicks, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality-something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

4.       Try chalenging each other. This is not the same as being controlling. You may find that you can do things for each other that you couldn’t quite find the motivation to do on your own. Perhaps you could motivate yourselves to get some exercise or to cook better or more often. It will give you something to do while you wait to see your partner again, and it will give you both something to strive for and talk about until then.

5.       Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you’d want to live together, discussing how you’re going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

6.       Remembered. Things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better.  Have hope.

7.       Avoid jealousy and be trusting. One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don’t fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time he or she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven’t meet or she or he didn’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long distance relationship doesn’t mean  your love will pause. Your patrner will naturally have a social life where he or she lives and should you. Sure, it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.

8.       Be positive. Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a long ditance relationship is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie it not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interest and hobbies as well as your carrer objectives. Another positive point is that long distance elaionship pushes both of you to be more creative, to communicate better since you don’t have face-to-face time and to test (and express) your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.

9.       Remember that you’re still in relationship. You have to be there for your partner. If your partner is ever in trouble, or hurt, or whatever, you have to be there for them. Make sure you are available to them so that they can reach you if they need you. If they end up dealing with with everything alone, they will eventually not need you. And sometimes, distance permitting of course, that means being actually, physically there for them.

10.   Because time together is rare, when you do see each other, take as much advantage as possible of your ability to get intimate with each other. You don’t have that privilege during those stretches when you can’t be each other phisically. You’ve got to keep those feelings of excitement and attraction alive or they will wane in time.

nina XOXO!